I never knew myself to be a runner until quarantine. It was definitely the last thing on my mind to ever start up. I was content with the workouts I was doing at home and leaving it at that. It was not until my best friend Leslie, shout outs to you girl, convinced me that I should at least give it a try. After a few back and forth’s, maybe I will, maybe I won’t running through my head, I eventually let in. Now no one told me that running in the summer would be a hot mess express trying to breath all at once. I really began to think to myself, Am I actually in shape?… because honey let me tell you, the exhaustion was real. I am sure even my Nike runners club coach was thinking to himself, this poor girl won’t last another week. To no surprise I was thinking the exact same thing. Amidst the complete exhaustion, one thing I do remember him repeating over and over again was to keep your pace. He said, “Don’t worry about the speed just focus on the pace and start off slow with a steady breath. Keep your arms close to you moving in an up and downward motion. Keep one foot after the other, step by step.” Soon I began to learn rather quickly not to over stride or you will catch yourself falling into a different pace prematurely than the original one instructed. You see, pace is a funny thing. It can lead you farther away from the end goal or closer towards it. In this case, it was to see if I would be able to finish a 20 minute run. At that time, 20 minutes seemed like an hour. The end of the run seemed so far away compared to the beginning.
Now, let’s take it back to the metaphor I used the last time we chatted. I was beginning to take you through what it looked like to roll through each phalange and metatarsal. All of this happens subsequently as you run and most importantly it is something that is not seen on the surface. This kind of muscular definition is not visible to the naked eye but rather working within the deep tissues. It is an underneath movement where you can feel all of its stretching and maneuvering. This place is rather uncomfortable and is not favored by many, but in fact it is the best place to be in. I know…. it all sounds so…. backwards. How could the most uncomfortable place be the best place to be in? Well similar to many moments one can experience in life, at some point it is only when we come to polar opposite entries and exits, the unthinkable and the unimaginable happens. Let me paint the picture for you….you have been working at this particular job for most of your life: it pays the bills and makes ends meet. But every so often there is this feeling deep inside your soul that you cannot seem to shake off. The feeling where you know that there is more. But taking this step to leave a job you have been at for years and is now a sanctioned safe haven seems far beyond your capacity to comprehend. Before you know it here you are juxtaposed next to exit and entry: two opposites that can lead to two completely different outcomes. A choice to either continue forward in a new beginning or to take steps backwards. On many occasions, this feeling occurs regularly. In fact at this point it can be classified as inevitable. If we do not encounter this, then I truly do not believe we will ever be able to grow.
In order for anything to grow there must be soil, a foundation for the seed to take root and blossom. If there is no foundation laid out, the growth is compromised and the plants life expectancy decreases significantly. The grounds of the foundation are imperative. No one wants a flower that takes root in a wimpy place. The chances of the stem being stacked up tall and straight is little to none. But most importantly the speed in which the seed grows decreases due to unhealthy grounds. These grounds aren’t always literally the places your feet walk on, but it can be the grounds of your heart, your mind, your wants and desires all the way down to your soul. When I began to discover this, it took my brain for a whirl wind. It made me do a thorough ground check from top to bottom. But before I get ahead of myself, let’s take it back to my new found hobby of running. This 20 minute run can be fast and full of speed, but at what cost? An inconsistent pace that fluctuates due to the pressure of how quickly I have to inflate and deflate my lungs with each step? Ideally if I am running this fast without the proper practice or training, the chances of me learning how to run better is slim. Whereas, if I listen to my Nike plus coach and make sure to have the right form, breath, and speed that’s manageable, the chances of me increasing in my skills as a runner is high. Eventually, over time, it will lead me to more successful outcomes. Now, it may be at a slower pace, but the difference is that I am present in the training rather than speeding through, just to get to the next thing. I am an active participant in the steps of training and process. This brings us back to pace.
Living in New York, everything can be fast in speed and in constant monotonous motion. So much so, it seems many are moving ahead and beyond where you may be aspiring and looking to reach in life. But truly in reality there are not a lot of people who are actually stepping. This takes more time, more commitment, and requires you to follow through. These steps require the grounds of your heart to be in alignment. The same goes for your mind, and most importantly your soul. I like to call it a ground check. These grounds for me my friends, only exist from the big guy up there the original G, my best friend and He can be yours too….his name is God. Yup, its Him, the one and only. The coach of my life who is with me in every breath and step I take. Heck, in every run I ran up and down the hills about to pass out from exhaustion, He was right there telling me to keep going. One thing about this coach is that He will always be fertile secure grounds of learning and teaching you can always go back to. You’re going to hear me bringing Him up a lot and saying his name often because I truly would not be the woman I am today without Him. That’s just me keeping it 100% transparent with you guys on this faith walk. All honor is due unto Him until I take the last borrowed breath He allows me to inhale and exhale.
I believe at some point in everyone’s life we should make sure we schedule in a ground check. A time for internal growth and inquiry. But most importantly, revisiting the vital word I used when we first met: the crossing, a reroute to find ourselves back on healthy and good soil. It was only in God, the soil of me began to turn around for the better. I say this is in all truth from the depths of my heart, and leave it as invitation if you so choose to discover what the soil of you is really made of. Asking hard questions like this comes with some even tougher disconnecting. It is a turning that is nowhere near the easiest walk in the park, although I do love me some nature. It has its road blocks, pauses of reflection, gutting out and so much more I can name but most importantly, it is a journey. A process that is still being thawed out as we speak as I am writing out the closing of this blog sitting on my couch. So I will leave you with this, my journey is my journey and yours is yours. I am merely here to share my experience in hopes that it serves as a push to begin walking it out. To stop the waiting and to begin somewhere but in the right motion this time and in the right faith. Step by step.
Until next time!
Forever in faith. Forever in motion,
Faith Joy Mondesire